facebook: you spammer you is

oops. I appear to have triggered the magic number of posted items on facebook. I am now officially a spammer. I had the temerity to post 100 items I had created myself to my own profile, thereby inflicting misery and pain upon all those 73 people who I paid large sums of money to to agree to be my bestest friends ever on the internet. most of them haven’t logged in since 2007, but I apologise unreservedly for ruining their lives forever.

I was, in fact, only warned that I was probably a spammer, not categorically accused of it as such, but, I was warned with a big red popup screen which said something like “OI! SPAMMER! HOW DARE YOU!”, notwithstading the fact that I politely decline about a zillion requests a day to add applications to my profile that allows anyone in the known world to look at my particulars and send videos of dogs wearing underwear to my email and then tricks me into sending it to the united nations when I thought I was just moving along.

I wonder what the threshold is for actually being blocked from posting my own stuff to my own profile, for that was the threatened next action therein contained in the insidious red box. “DO THAT ANYMORE AND WE’LL CUT YER BALLS OFF”, or something like that. they don’t actually tell you what the threshold is in the faq section specially prepared for spammers, that you’re forwarded to, like a ‘private interview room’ at the airport reserved for ‘people with beards’ who ‘talk funny’. they just let you know that if you carry on, you deserve it. which I suppose I do. how dare I.


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