Things what I writ

I sometimes write nonsense about things to try and sound clever

Ad Server Finger Drumming

It is quite possibly a consequence of my patience becoming inversely proportional to my age, but recently, waiting for ad servers to respond in order to complete loading a page is really ticking me off. I’m not bothered about about ads which take a while to load while I’m actually reading the page I requested, but what really gets my fingers drumming on the desk and puts my laser mouse in imminent danger of being crashed unceremoniously against the woodwork with accompanying cries of “c’mon! C’MON-AH!”, is ad server code that halts a page load mid-stream until its finished its business. I’m sure the page owners have bought into the most efficient geo-located edge-based web service out there, so why is it increasingly the case that while pages get faster, ad servers seem to get slower? Perhaps it’s a deliberate interaction feature, I mean, nothing grabs your attention more than a broken page, but from a customer experience point of view, I don’t think that’s a journey I would normally care to continue with.

I’m aware that we deploy our own ad server across, and that’s not always bulletproof, but, as you might imagine, I look at as many pages as any other commercial/consumer sites, and I never have noticeable ad server lag on I’m not exactly co-located with the servers either, being on the free internet in the UK, so I don’t get any special treatment. Maybe because we own the deployment of our own ad server, we’re in a much better position to monitor performance and make adjustments – I can’t pretend to understand the technology behind it (well, ok, I can) – whereas, as is the case for any web service you buy into, if you get your ads delivered by a 3rd party, you can’t do much about the external reference issues. That’s been true of any page you care to publish since html 1.0 – once you include external references as core components of your page, you’re really asking for trouble, notwithstanding any service level agreements you might have in place (and they’re always great, right?).

Even as I write this, I’m looking at Facebook and waiting for a hair loss ad to appear in the left-hand navigation. It doesn’t actually break the rendering, but it does annoy me all the same – the delays, not because it’s targeted me for hair loss products. Although, that is pretty annoying

Listening Post: Spiral Vertigo: What I’d Really Like To Say

facebook: you spammer you is

oops. I appear to have triggered the magic number of posted items on facebook. I am now officially a spammer. I had the temerity to post 100 items I had created myself to my own profile, thereby inflicting misery and pain upon all those 73 people who I paid large sums of money to to agree to be my bestest friends ever on the internet. most of them haven’t logged in since 2007, but I apologise unreservedly for ruining their lives forever.

I was, in fact, only warned that I was probably a spammer, not categorically accused of it as such, but, I was warned with a big red popup screen which said something like “OI! SPAMMER! HOW DARE YOU!”, notwithstading the fact that I politely decline about a zillion requests a day to add applications to my profile that allows anyone in the known world to look at my particulars and send videos of dogs wearing underwear to my email and then tricks me into sending it to the united nations when I thought I was just moving along.

I wonder what the threshold is for actually being blocked from posting my own stuff to my own profile, for that was the threatened next action therein contained in the insidious red box. “DO THAT ANYMORE AND WE’LL CUT YER BALLS OFF”, or something like that. they don’t actually tell you what the threshold is in the faq section specially prepared for spammers, that you’re forwarded to, like a ‘private interview room’ at the airport reserved for ‘people with beards’ who ‘talk funny’. they just let you know that if you carry on, you deserve it. which I suppose I do. how dare I.



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