things what I writ

clouds and computing

salthouse 1
salthouse 1 by Tim Caynes

don’t know if you find this but its always when I’m stupidly busy that there are decent clouds around. I mean, not those clouds which are made up of lots of blade servers and apis or a sound mass consisting of statistical clouds of microsounds and characterized first by the set of elements used in the texture, secondly density, including rhythmic and pitch density or even minor inclusions clustered within a diamond but a visible mass of condensed droplets or frozen crystals floating in the atmosphere above the surface of the earth or another planetary body, remember those? the white fluffy ones? this morning we packed 40 days and 40 nightSAH into about 2 hours and as the tide rose against the window to the cellar and drips perferated the skylight there was the distinct possibility that we would all be submerged as the drains of belezebub preceeded to spew themselves up but as soon as it came it went and now we’re left with billions of tiny white clouds the size of my hand blowing madly about the sky some you can touch and some you have to focus on infinity but its almost perfect to spend an afternoon walking around aimlessly with a dslr pointing it at the sky and tripping over emos.

so naturally that coincides with me having too much work to do so I’m not leaving the office until its done which will be friday so as a petulant virtual foot-stamp of annoyance I’m writing about it in a blog nobody will read and it won’t even make me feel better about it so there. AND there’s lots of deranged people staggering about. dammit.

subscription preamble canal

thaas loomoo 179
thaas loomoo 179

remembering a worm child as he plugs a finger into a watery ballast monger then spews the remains of the day over some repulsive unstable old oaf. lest it be an unseemly end to the day before it even begins there’ll be much iprocurement flurries to unburden yourself of trail after trail after trail whereupon the one time you really need to boil an ocean your kitchen doesn’t have a kettle and you can either buy the kettle which won’t work when you change your kitchen or change your kitchen which has the new kettle in go on heave up and fragment but please don’t touch the beastly random apparatus like those 15th century french undercrofts full of boils

its not ok. protect yourself immediately from the tiny chuffs of deliverance by really doing something rather than just shoving a hollow cracked-up billboard of self experience. you know it might mean something to you but really we’re not convinced that you’ve even moved your chair in the last 2 years so it goodbye from me and its goodbye from him and high on mumble its a tedious extraction of all that is ping. next to you waste your notes on pie and mashchester soap features remember the singer that looks like dave and find that they’re actually living in the same tiny bucket. what else might you need. it’ll blow over at random. by 1 o’clock I’ll be melting lard into a ferret.

I would though.

daft punk kills the messenger

for 39 seconds the percentage increase on the download status bar of AIM 6.1 was exactly in sync with the beat of viridis quo from the discovery album which might not sound that thrilling but I can tell at 14:17 on a thursday afternoon when the sun has come out at last and I have 4 hours of prototyping to get done thats about as good as it gets unless you count finding a scrobbler for napster which means my charts that noone has the slightest interest in will be most current thankyou and another 30 minutes can pass as a benevolent stoner pushes the last baby dog into the tree

eeuw. short circuit. brings me the head of john the flatfish and I’ll slap the box with a flappy invitation to climb a pole.

thx jst IMing it now

montrose 6
montrose 6 by Tim Caynes

finally found a good use for IM which doesn’t involve trying to make people say rude words while on a conference call or goading them into rustling some paper into their headset microphone at inappropriate moments. if you’ve got 15mb of junk you need to move from one place to another there’s surely no better way to eat the bandy width than to vpn into your corporate network, fire up the old aol IM client and transfer said file through multiple firewalls at 27kb/s while simultaneously IMing with the recipient about how they might spend the time between 7% and 8% more productively. in the end we decided it was probably most useful to fill a lever arch box file with envelopes and bics, but that only really took us to 23% so we had to get the photocopier in the back of the car and repurpose some carpet tiles before we were ready to sign off. which I have. l&rZ.

I was going to email it but there’s not nearly so much fun to be had watching the green bar of probability escalate towards zero as chunderbird attempts to throw the packets to the edge and back again while my system freezes in horror at the very thought of it. then again I might even have made a cup of tea or something not being connected to a third party during the exchange which would have meant me dragging myself from my screen which gives me the shivers at the very thought of it away from my screen indeed where would I go.

at which point I’m reminded that I look like a scarecrow.

graphics hardware FAIL

fail 7900
fail 7900 by Tim Caynes

ouch. nothing but trouble overly expensive worked for a bit not worth the money xfx 7900gt is finally flashing at me as I try and shift a pixel to the left. its been underclocked for about a year and most acceleration is already turned off so when I get that speckledy vomit dotted around my flat panel which you can actually draw patterns with if you hoik a window around then I know there’s not much life left in the wafers of core memory that have been dropping stuff for months like old shopping bags coming out of bejams. mind you they’re so cheap to replace these days. what I paid 250 notes for a few years ago is now only about 50 quid and I can uberupgrade for about a tun. except I don’t have that kind of money floating around these days do I credit crunch monster munch gone for lunch mortgage payment tescos tescos gas fuel lodging water oil air paper rock scissors bp profits 34 million a day hedge fund negative equity recession confession frank spencer impression.

dammit

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