Things what I writ

I sometimes write nonsense about things to try and sound clever


…so I said to him, I said ‘I mean, good manners don’t cost nothing do they?’, and then he just went round the back to get his bike. Anyway, I was legging it pretty sharpish up them stairs, ’cause there was this bloke from the west end with some kind of ‘proposition’ like, you know. He’s going off and going on about some new thing he’s got going with a new pair of dimes or something and there’s Dave from the bookies giving me earache about the 3:10 at Newmarket and anyway, I said to him, I said, ‘listen Dave, do you think I got time to listen to your ‘ere tales of woe, when I got him upstairs with his ‘proposition’ mate? I mean, good manners don’t cost nothing, do they?’

So here I am up here with me mobile on one bar and me tea going cold and I’m trying to get these poxies sorted so that me old pc can watch this video and then blow me if the wife don’t just walk in and she’s saying ‘ooh, look that’s good. Who’s that? Is that a video?’ and it is a video and it’s this bloke I was telling you about on a kind of telly on my pc, which is a bit weird, but he goes on and I just sit there listening, right? Anyway, he goes on about this ‘new model’ and he keeps saying stuff about utility belts or something, and I’m not the brightest spark in the box, you know, so I didn’t understand a lot of that stuff, but I do know something about market traders, natch, so I got that bit and anyway, as it happens, even though I didn’t get it all, I just sat there watching, thinking ‘well, he knows what he’s talking about, clearly’ and it seemed to me that really, when you think it of, he’s right, right?

When I spoke to Dave about it down the pub later he said it was plain as day, ‘I mean’, he said, ‘it’s like paying to see the footy properly, innit? I mean, I don’t want to pay to get Man United, do I? I just want to pay for the Arsenal, right?’. So I guess it’s alright then. I also got 14-1 on the winner at the 4:00 at Aintree, ‘The Moderator’. Lovely