Things what I writ

I sometimes write nonsense about things to try and sound clever

v600 n80 tca151em go!

travelogue 18
travelogue 18 by Tim Caynes

I didn’t just drop off, honestly, I mean, I know you won’t believe that vodafone decided to take away it’s network coverage and go home in a huff with it’s ball under it’s arm at 11 o’clock just as Bernard was about to point out some nice pictures I made of french people transacting with Sun via the funky localized teleweb experience but that’s just the way it was I mean I threw the n80 out the window and dug the v600i out from under a pile of reciepts from mexican restaurants in colorado and rammed the charger in it’s bottom and dialled the at&t number but nope it was still vodafone’s fault but it had taken 5 minutes to work that out so you’re all now thinking I either went to another meeting at 11 and just dropped you rather rudely or I got so bored by straining my ears to pick up the subtle tones of Han wandering around a conference room rearranging post-it notes into a deliverable that I simply hung up but not true, I was at that point untangling 13 feet of headphone cable so that I could ressurrect skype which I ditched months ago and try that instead except that took about 2 minutes to connect to the account server and when I finally dialled the number which takes an unfeasably long time when you’re clicking on a dialpad with a mouse, for some reason, I got through to a strangled beep and a whoosh of undersea cables trying in vain to support an audible conversation between 2 peers but in fact just painfully failing to do so in a head-stuck-in-a-bucket kind of way even though I shouted and I’m not sure whether you heard me at all but apologies if I blew up the starphone and so I, as a last resort, decide to try a landline. can you imagine? a landline? anyway, I got through on that no problem, although I could barely hear mrs at&t and then I remembered why I ditched the landline in the first place because after 17 handsets and 14 headsets I just couldn’t hear anybody with any of them and so this time I’m screwing up my face trying to hear if I’ve actually pressed a number on the keypad and eventually I hit the ‘pound key’ and am greeted by that exquisite phrase that tells you you’re either early for once, you need to press the star key now, or you’ve hopelessly misunderstood the instructions on the email and you should have been here yesterday at 10 pacific not 10 GMT, so in this case it means you’ve hung up on me because I obviously couldn’t be polite enough to excuse myself from the call but I couldn’t you see because I lost my network connection and I couldn’t send a text to Andy to let him know and as we’re in the UK, nobody takes their laptops into the conference room so I couldn’t even IM Chantelle to let her know what a hopeless case I am so I thought I’d just install performancing for firefox instead and give up on the day after I’ve wasted half an hour writing this to find out that I’ve got the xmlrpc settings wrong and when I submit, firefox will encounter a serious problem that will require it to close but not before it’s asked me why I think it’s just died on me, taking my new performancing plugin with it and a whole bunch of drivel to the page fault in the sky so actually what I’m going to do is open NOTEPAD and do a copy and paste of this entire thing before I, uh, hang on…