Things what I writ

I sometimes write nonsense about things to try and sound clever

you am demographic

dammit. not even partially recovered from the oi!, baldy! ads that have appeared to be targetting me successfully, I’m finding myself in the box marked “fatso” and now I’m reminded that being a middle-aged englishman (for tis surely the trigger) means that I’m obviously failing miserably to combat to the encroaching sidewaysness of myself and I need to find out how to look like the middle part of someone from gladiators. I’m guessing that the 5 mistakes I’m making might include eating, sitting still all day, eating some more, not going out, etc., but, you never know, there might be something I’d never thought of.

I’m just waiting for the oi! speccy! ads to come back into rotation and then I’ll consider myself to have the full demographic ad set and I’ll go and do something right mad like make a 3d version of myself because it’s fun! and free!

thus spake consolidation monkey

from a cosa nostradamus type moment of epiphany while making photoshop 5 eat layers of pasta did spew forth the penetrable missive from the future of the potato of business proposition:

You know what it’s like. Got eggs all over the place. This egg is your marketing egg. This egg is your commerce egg. You’ve even got eggs for partners and suppliers. But what you really want is to make a great big omelette with all your eggs so your customers can sit down at one big table and stuff themselves. You want Spanish omelette. You want French omelette. You want a Service Provider omelette with dynamic mushrooms and on-demand data parsley garnish. Well, the solution is here. Sun Dynamic Egg Consolidation and Omelette Rendering enables you to leverage all your enterprise eggs in one great big virtual frying pan. I tell you, it’s f**king great. My Mum’s got one already.

No change there then. So taaake mee in your aaarrms agaaain, I’ll sell my soooul, what is it wooorrrrth?