Things what I writ

I sometimes write nonsense about things to try and sound clever

smells like cheese rennet

thaas loomoo 73
thaas loomoo 73 by Tim Caynes

eeuw. that looks like bits of breakfast from 3 weeks ago. here, give a poke with this stick, go on, swish it around a bit. hang on, she’s having a shower now, wait up. aah. there, you see. knackered. let me rummage about a bit and see what the policy is on this before we go diving into the big yellow book for a1 or aaa or 5star or buster or some other made up word with ‘rod’ in it. looks like, erm, hang on, oh. ok then.

65 pounds with vat. ok, so is that 65 pounds altogether? yes, with vat. you mean plus vat? yes 65 pound with vat. you mean 65 pounds not including vat. yes, that’s what I said, 65 pounds with vat – you have to add vat. right, so how much is that? 65 pounds with vat. you’re not going to tell me are you? 65 pounds with… yeah, ok, just come this morning and I’ll work it out, I mean, I’d do it myself but you’ve got all those nozzles and things and you already smell like rancid cheese probably. no offence.

spoilt the morning already anyway. got lots of things backed up but I guess I’ll just watch out the window for you and your pipes to appear and then I’ll hover around behind you like I might have something to contribute and just ask the occasional question about it, throwing in words I think that are appropriate but I don’t really have a clue about but you’ll just get on with it with the occasional trip back to the van because you’ll need a P17 grommit for this one cos nobody said it was a victorian and the standing is dropped so the ceramic floor is probably dust which will probably be another 32 pounds. with vat. or something.